I’m a straight, white male. My partner and I would be considered middle class. We are incredibly blessed to have good jobs, to own a home, and to not have to worry whether we’ll be able to afford groceries.

I grew up in a conservative household. I was raised Catholic. I was raised to be fair, to listen, and to reserve judgment. I was taught to challenge and to question, not only my own perspectives but those of others. I was raised to be curious, not afraid. I was raised to ask people about their beliefs, to discuss why they believe what they believe, even to challenge them to be introspective about their beliefs, but to ultimately respect their right to their beliefs. I was raised to respect and even revere our legal institutions. I was raised to follow the law and to respect law enforcement. I was raised to believe in and celebrate love between consenting adults. I was raised to treat others with dignity and respect. I was taught to open my home to those in need. I was raised believing in family and Christian values. I was raised to support and respect our servicemembers. I was taught to respect a woman’s right to choose, even if I don’t agree with the choice. I was taught that integrity is doing the right thing even when nobody is looking (I’m looking at you, dog poop and shopping-cart-leavers). I was taught to tell the truth, even if doing so meant I would get in trouble for something I’d done (Yes, ’twas I who broke the window with the golf ball. Yes, I ditched class to hang out with my friends today. Yes, I stole my brother’s model rocket).

I’ve not always succeeded at these things. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve hurt people through my words and actions. I’ve betrayed people’s trust. I’ve told lies. I’ve broken promises. I’m terrible at reaching out. I’ve been too afraid to speak out when I’ve witnessed injustice. I’ve been selfish. I’ve been close minded. I’ve been judgmental. I’ve been racist. I’ve been insensitive. I’ve benefited from and have taken for granted my privilege. Forgive me, I’m a work in progress.

I’ve voted for people of both major parties. Almost as often as not, I’ve voted for (and still do) conservative policies, especially ones that emphasize fiscal conservatism. In general, I like the idea of only making laws that are absolutely needed to protect people’s rights and otherwise leaving people alone. To me, picking the person who I want to be president has always felt like choosing the least undesirable option, which sucks, but is what it is. Until recently, however, I haven’t felt afraid of the person I like less. Until recently, I’ve mostly believed that the person in the big chair typically had the best interests of the country in mind, even if I did not fully agree with their policies. Until recently, I hadn’t really worried about which person was going to win in the end, because ultimately, I knew things would turn out okay (see above note about taking my privilege for granted).

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not perfect. I don’t expect people to be perfect. I don’t expect our leaders to be perfect. But.

Recently, things changed. Recently (you know, the last decade or so), I’ve seen friends, peers, and mentors defend or ignore words and actions that have literally terrified me. I’ve seen them at once decry offensive words by Clinton when she labeled some people as “deplorables” while failing to denounce when Trump literally said that white supremacists are “fine people.” Or the fact that when Hannity said to Trump “You would never abuse power as retribution against anybody,” and Trump responded “Except for day one.… After that, I’m not a dictator.” Call me paranoid if you want, but words matter, especially when spoken by a president. If they didn’t, people wouldn’t be up in arms about being called deplorable. It’s words like these that scare me. Eight years ago, many of my conservative friends dismissed democrats who were complaining that Trump won, saying things like, “She lost, get over it.” In some ways, I understood the sentiment. After all, someone loses every four years, it’s how elections work (again, see above reference to taking my privilege for granted). What bothers me is that many of those same voices were silent when Trump lost four years later and claimed victory. They were silent when he did not opt to exchange power peacefully. They did not speak when he encouraged violent revolution or said that he didn’t care when a crowd of traitors threatened to hang our former vice president as they literally tried to overthrow the government in Trump’s name. When he’s called people who disagree with him “the enemy within,” I haven’t heard a peep from the same people offended by being called deplorable.

In light of these events, if you’re not sure why your liberal peers fear this guy coming back into power, I cannot help but wonder if such ignorance is a willful choice. He has literally called them the enemy within, out loud, to a chorus of cheers. Wouldn’t you be afraid if it was the other way around?

Here’s a trick. Pretend the other person said or did what you’re ignoring or defending. If it bothers you then, if you’d say something then, if you’d denounce it then, but not until then, you are not standing for your convictions. You are not being honest with yourself about who and what you believe in and why.

If you’d be ambivalent about either candidate pretending to give a blow job to a microphone, cool. If you’re fine with the idea that the billionaire effectively running the candidate’s campaign is literally buying votes in swing states, even if that candidate was a member of the opposing party, okay. You don’t have to find the same things terrifying that I do. If you’re not aware that these things are happening, I challenge you to vary your news sources. If you are aware, and it’s still okay, well, alright then.

If that’s the case, you are being objective, and we simply don’t share the same values. We don’t agree on the path forward. We don’t want the same things from our leader. That’s fair. Different strokes for different folks. I’m not calling you a bad person. Again, I was raised to celebrate and defend our right to have different opinions. All I ask is that you please don’t pretend those things aren’t happening. Own that you’re okay with it.

Me? I don’t believe that Trump shares my values. I don’t think he represents my sense of morality. I haven’t seen him behave as a Christian, even as he’s spouted sanctimonious platitudes. I believe him when he says that he believes wealth means it’s okay to do whatever he wants with women. I believe that he believes he could shoot someone in the middle of Time Square with impunity. I believe him when he admits he’d use his power to bring retribution upon his political rivals. I believe it because I’ve seen other world leaders do the same thing. Even the conservative policies of his platform I agree with do not outweigh my sense that he’s only in it for himself, not the country. I don’t recognize him as a member of the conservative party I grew up understanding. I, a straight, white male, am afraid of Trump. So afraid, I couldn’t sleep last night.

I certainly don’t agree with all the Harris platform. I think there are gaps in clarity about her platform. I don’t love everything she’s said and done. I accept and own these facts. I own that I’m okay with it.

TLDR: I’m with her.